Irrational, Him or kindling

[sobota]

The deal with him...no, that wasn't right. The thing about him...the thing about him. There were many things about him. Long skinny arms, tapered fingers and flat nails. Dark pink nipples that sort of matched the flush of his neck (because he never wore a shirt). His neck, hair sticking to it—-that was another thing.

He was tricky, especially when he was drunk. Those tapered fingers reaching for her wrist and those lips...fuck, those lips. Pink like the inside of a dog's ear, pink like her new favourite shirt. Anyway, the thing about him is that she was never sure what he meant by those fingers reaching for her wrist, by those lips pressed against the soft bit of her jaw, back near her ear.

He could fit wherever he was, tucked away like a foldaway bed or hotel ironing boards. His new favourite place was between her and a wall, his knees somehow up against his sternum. He would wrap an arm around those irrational knees, his elbow pressed into her shoulder blade until she turned toward him (clever ruse). So there was no doubt as to their proximity, he would crane his neck towards her, his lips hovering near her ear. She always felt warm, heat creeping up her neck, like there was a fire deep in her belly and he was stoking the flames.

He spoke in short, declarative statements when he was plastered.

"Your voice is magic."

"You smell good."

"It's hot in here."

"Come back to my flat."

It was difficult to figure out which one he meant, so she just nodded, maybe shrugged. She was used to her awkwardness, but he threw it in sharp relief, like a fire suddenly started in a fireplace, flames licking along the bricks.

Comments

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

There are many images here that manage to be sensual even when the object being compared is not. How is a "foldaway bed" sensual? I'm not sure, but maybe I empathize just a bit with the narrator's awkwardness. It's quite a remarkable talent, describing a narrator through the narrator's own descriptions.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

oh my god, "those irrational knees" reminds me so much of my second serious boyfriend... <3 and yum.

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

Such an interesting use of similes, here, to create details that come very much alive. :)

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

I live the descriptions here: "flames licking", the opening paragraph.

AW

[jexia]

This is really sweet.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I love the description here. It conveys such a bewildered attraction to someone that the narrator's rational mind is perhaps weighing against, and yet the reality of the man's presence and his ways always seems to tip the balance the other way.

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

You really evoke a myriad of sensations with these unusual visuals. It works.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Very intriguing, love the "irrational knees." :)

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

You've managed to evoke someone who is simultaneously sexy and repulsive. That's actually pretty hard to do! :-) Was that your intent?

Anyhow, I liked this.

[sobota.livejournal.com]

Yes; it's a specific bloke I'm talking about, and he is both those things.

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Loved the description....a bit of Yin and Yang...and it makes a perfect Yarn...Good Job! Well written indeed..:)

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

Excellent imagery. "Pink like the inside of a dog's ear" was particularly vivid, and one of the many anti-sensual sensual images you created.

[whipchick.livejournal.com]

Your physical descriptions are awesome - I love how they're unexpected and yet perfect. And I also liked how on my first read, the character felt like an incubus, and on the second read I got the human-ness.

[reckless-blues.livejournal.com]

Dog's ears are so pink! And fresh, and young-looking, even in an old dog. I never noticed that before.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

i was trying to figure out what it is about this that i like - i mean, the language is so good and i can totally sense the narrator's attraction to the guy even tho he sounds like kind of a manipulative ass - and then i saw mallorys_camera's comment, and that's exactly it. he's sexy and repulsive, and the fact that you wrote him so he can be both is a neat trick. two thumbs up.