L'été or The Bystander Effect

[sobota]

I stand in your shitty kitchen making martinis in panties and we hold hands in the backseat of my dad's convertible and eat ice cream. My legs are in your lap and my feet are bare and the ice cream is cold. You're so pale and your hand looks bright against my dark legs.

I stopped wearing shoes the day I got off the plane and my soles are black and my legs are still adjusting to being completely grounded. I'm still adjusting to being completely grounded. It's like we're starting all over again. Nobody noticed me standing barefoot at the baggage carousel, just like nobody noticed you in your sunglasses, arms spread wide for a hug. Nobody (or everybody?) looked our way when we kissed. You said you didn't check anything, so we walked out into the glaring sun and it was like January never happened, like we were just two kids learning about each other.

You liked my pink toenails and laughed when I put in some Beatles, but 'anything's better than NPR' according to you. We put the top down and I was speeding and we were singing (screaming) along... now you're in the shower, and I can still hear you singing.

Come back to me, and lie with me. Let me be yours again.

Last night we watched some shitty movie and stayed up to watch a rerun of some show I had never heard of before and then we slept together and I'm really sorry about hitting your face trying to reach my phone. No, really. I had no idea that would happen.

& thanks for making me breakfast, and sorry for being such a bitch this morning, but thanks for making me laugh.

If I weren't already in love with you, I would be falling hard.

Comments

[ajodasso.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry about hitting your face trying to reach my phone. No, really. I had no idea that would happen.

For some reason, this made me smile, because this is definitely familiar.

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

How perfectly perfect. The human connection... that moment where everything is perfectly clear... I love this.

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

As always, I am wowed by your grasp of sensuality. A little leggy fixation (at the start) here goes a long way towards linking a fragmented collection of early love memories. The way you cut from one scene to another would be completely jarring were it not for that one thing you hold in the frame at a time.

[jexia]

I hope it's OK if I offer some proofreading? Nothing to mess with your lovely style.

"M legs are in your lap" (My)

"it's like we're starting all over again." (It's)

"nobody (or everybody?)" (Nobody)

Capital on "january"


This piece made me feel warm and fuzzy :)

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

This was a more complete piece, because it told more of a story than the surfing piece. I'd love to see you explore this touch further, because it is so important.

[reckless-blues.livejournal.com]

Aww, this is cute.

[crisp-sobriety.livejournal.com]

This is adorable and sexy at the same time, a perfect love-letter to love and connection. You're so good at these flash-pieces.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love the conclusion to this.

There's such a sense of the individual quirks of both people here, and yet that they mesh in spite of them and understand and forgive all of the little edges.

That ending just wraps this up into something beautiful.